12/9/16

frus·tra·tion
frəˈstrāSH(ə)n/
noun
  1. the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.

The true feeling of madness. Not knowing whether you are upset or angry. The feeling of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what. When you learn what is causing the frustration, it gets even worse. You don’t know if you are more angry or more upset. Its essentially the feeling of being destroyed inside.

I left everything I ever knew in August, I went for a new start. The entire time I thought college would be the opposite of high school, and while in some ways it is, in many others it is the exact same. I still live in the little town in the middle of nowhere but I don’t see the people I grew up with anymore. When I came here a small piece of my heart stayed there, even though I had wanted to escape for so long. Now I face the fact, part of my heart has left here too.

I see the same people as in my hometown, just in different form here. Same drama, just different people. I keep wondering if coming here was the right choice. However, there is drama everywhere. Here the only difference is that it is all new drama, nothing associated with my past. I question myself so much more here than I ever did where I grew up.

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