Being depressed is far from a new feeling for me. If I’m honest, I admit I don’t remember ever not showing all the signs of depression. Whether that’s a result of genetics, or of years of childhood abuse, I may never know. What I may also never know, is why my parents refuse to acknowledge my depression. For a long time, I spent ever second trying to understand what I was doing wrong that my parents couldn’t support their only daughter. At some point, I simply came to terms with knowing they would never support me in my struggle with depression. Mental health became a topic that was to never be spoken of in the house. While I was still getting treatment, I learned to do it all on my own, and I became somewhat okay with that. What I wasn’t prepared for was the day my mother acknowledged my father being depressed while still denying my own depression. My father was diagnosed with cancer six months ago and he’s been falling into a depression over the last month. The day my mother said my father was depressed, it felt as if the whole world suddenly stopped. Why would my mother be willing to acknowledge my father’s recent depression but not my own? All the years of trying to understand what I was doing wrong suddenly came back and I was asking myself that question all over again. This day was the day my mom went from not acknowledging my depression, to invalidating it. And if im honest, I have to learn how to deal with this now too.

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