I might as well start this post now at 9:46am. So me and my dad are barely talking, so that’s great. My dad wants a new life, im sure he wants a new daughter too. I can’t say that I blame him, nobody would want me as a daughter. I’m just me, I will always be the same failure that everyone sees me as.
Well I calmed down finally so I think I can actually post in a calm matter. I finally did something I never thought I would be able to do and that was to open up to a family member. My cousins wife, Jamie, has always been like a big sister to me and has supported me through a lot. My sophomore year of high school was when I first told Jamie that I was depressed and everything that was going on in my life. My mom had found out that I was self harming and refused to let me be alone after that. It was frustrating knowing she couldn’t trust me, and the entire time little did she know I was self harming at home during the night. Anyway, she made me stay with Jamie when she wasn’t home, and she would pick me up from Jamie’s when she got off work. I told Jamie everything, and she was someone I knew I could trust. After a while I was so scared that my parents would find out again that I wouldn’t talk to anyone. Today I finally opened up to Jamie again and it was the best feeling ever. She supports me with it and understands and I know I don’t have to worry about her telling anyone. She’s honestly the only person in my family I trust I can open up to.