My first day of school in 4th grade.  I was wearing this cute white shirt with a flower pin on it, and shorts. I had changed when I got home from school because I have a picture from this day and I was wearing a skirt. I don’t remember getting to grandmas or anything from the day but I remember what happened late on. I remember when I was told to take my shorts off. I remember being told to take off everything except the white shirt, which ended up being rolled up. I remember being told “This is how a boy shows he truly loves you”.  I remember laying on the floor, almost naked, being told exactly how to lay, feeling pain which at some point I got used to and started to enjoy what was happening. I remember looking up towards the TV and then back towards her. This wasn’t the only time it happened. I remember two other times but it could have happened more than that, I hope not. I’ve never been able to type this and honestly I am terrified even typing this. I’m scared I will remember more, i’m scared I will remember worse. I know how this happening connects to now, but that is something I will not talk about. Why was this done to me, why was any of this done to me…….

One thought on “10/20/17

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